The day in the life of a 20-year-old in New York City doesn’t always look like it does in the movies: living alone in a perfectly furnished apartment, meeting friends for dinner after a long day, and never worrying about money.
For me, it looks like helping my 6-year-old niece with her science fair project or taking her to a dance recital. Because after I graduated college in 2020 — while most of my friends were spreading their wings and embracing independence — I moved in with my older sister and her daughter.
I was working on my master’s degree at the time and didn’t have a permanent job, so it seemed like a practical decision.
Now, six years later, I still live with them and it has completely changed my perception of growing up.
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The living situation was financially advantageous, but I can’t help but feel behind in life
Living with a 6 year old is fun, but it means I don’t have much privacy.
Beatrice Hypopolite
Originally, moving in with my family seemed like the most realistic option for me. And to be honest, even though I liked the idea of ​​being independent, I didn’t feel financially or mentally ready to be on my own.
However, I didn’t want to live with my mother again. I love her, but I knew it would have been difficult to return to a stricter household dynamic after having so much freedom in college.
That’s why sharing a roof with my sister felt like the perfect compromise: a sense of stability without feeling like I had to shrink back into a younger version of myself.
At a time when the world was still chaotic and uncertain, my living situation became one of the few constants in my life. I was able to focus on graduate school and still feel like I had some semblance of freedom.
I also built up my savings so I could pay off my student loans without having to pay for things like rent and utilities.
In a way, my situation felt like an extension of my studies. I wasn’t completely on my own, but I wasn’t in the same circumstances I grew up with either.
Unfortunately, this feeling changed over the years.
I am grateful to my sister for welcoming me into her home, but I can also admit that sometimes I still feel like I am lagging behind others my age. I compare myself to friends who live a version of adulthood that looks more independent than me.
In addition to the feeling of stagnation, living with other people also brings practical challenges.
Overall, my sister and I get along well, but it is difficult to have a home together when we are at different stages in our lives. She is a wife and mother and runs a household while I am still coming to terms with adulthood.
Our routines and responsibilities are different, which can cause conflict between us. For example, I’m not an early riser, but since my sister likes to go to the gym at 5 a.m., I unfortunately start my day at the same time in case my niece wakes up.
Living with a child also means I can act as a babysitter for free when my sister is stuck at work. Although I don’t mind being flexible, it can be frustrating at times, especially when I have to cancel plans with my friends.
Also, my niece, full of energy, likes to storm into my bedroom without knocking – either to show me a new toy of hers or just to spend time together. Although it’s something I normally love and has now become a running joke between us, I realized how much I miss having a space to call my own.
I would still like to have my own apartment one day, but watching my niece grow up makes this chapter worth it
I look forward to being alone one day, but my niece has taught me to appreciate the present.
Beatrice Hypopolite
Overall, living with my niece was also one of the most unexpected gifts at this moment in my life.
I can see them growing up in real time. I helped with homework, after-school pickups, preparing for a dance recital, and even helped with their first science fair. I have watched her become her own person and witnessed her world expand in such meaningful ways.
I feel like being close to her has changed my sense of time. It reminds me that life moves quickly and that the everyday moments I sometimes live through are the ones that shape their memories.
As I’ve gotten older and busier, I wanted to have more time for myself. But I also know that I’ll probably appreciate being there for her even more later, even in normal ways.
I would still love to have my own home soon – I crave the peace and freedom of creating a space that better reflects who I am. But for now I’m happy with my current situation and can’t imagine living anywhere else.
Spending time with my sister and niece has shown me that adulthood doesn’t always turn out the way I expected. This may not be the post-grad life I imagined, but it taught me something: no one is ever truly behind.
I may not be where my friends are in life, but I go at my own pace. Every step is progress, no matter how small it may be.
https://www.businessinsider.com/moved-in-older-sibling-after-college-save-money-pros-cons-2026-7
